*Within the Sporking Room, a young lady prepares some tea and sandwiches before getting out a few manga volumes of Naruto with an indoor Zen fountain on the coffee table in the center. As this went on, a long-haired tuxedo cat is curled up on the couch and taking a cat nap, breathing softly.*
Rodent: Let's see... got the refreshments ready, the atmosphere all set up, the cat's on the couch... all I need now are the guest sporkers. *She clears her throat before scanning the manga volumes and typing up "THE POWER OF YOUTH" in red. Upon hitting the Enter key, a figure suddenly poofs into the Sporking Room surprising the long-haired tuxedo cat from her catnap- ROCK LEE of the Hidden Leaf Village in a green jumpsuit, the village's flak jacket, and orange legwarmers.*
Rock Lee: Guy-sensei, we must- *stops when he realizes that he's somewhere else entirely before looking around and noticing Rodent* Huh? Ah, you're not Tenten! *pauses a bit* May I ask where I am, miss?
Rodent: Well, you're in what's called the Sporking Room in another universe. Time in here is kind of weird- a few hours in here would be the equivalent of either a few seconds or a day in your universe. It's a little complicated to say the least. But don't worry, you're not going to be the only guest in here. I'm bringing in another from your universe as well to join us.
Rock Lee: *eyes immediately sparkle as he becomes excited from this* Is it Neji? Tenten? Guy-sensei? Please let it be Guy-sensei! *becomes eager from the thought*
Rodent: *is silent for a moment before thinking about it* Uhh... How should I put it? Well, let's just say that you and your team fought this guy off before. *returns to scan the manga volumes again before typing up "IT BE SHARK WEEK" and pressing the Enter key. Another figure poofs into the Sporking Room, which surprises the tuxedo cat again- this time, much to Lee's shock and horror, it is KISAME HOSHIGAKI of the Akatsuki with shark-like features, his sword Samehada bandaged up, and a black cloak with red clouds.*
Kisame: *realizes that he is somewhere else as he looks around in confusion* Now this is new. One minute, I am speaking to Itachi, the next I am not. *notices Rodent first before bringing his attention over to see Lee before grinning with cruel intent* Well, if it isn't one of the mindless beast's students! I still remember that little battle with you and your fellow shinobi- I must admit that you have guts to take on someone like me.
Rock Lee: *is legitimately unsure* I'm not sure if I should be honored by this- you're from the Akatsuki and therefore more powerful than me...
Kisame: Very observant of you, boy. But since your teammates and that animal of a man aren't here to provide you with some backup... *readies Samehada with a savage and sharp-toothed grin, much to the alarm of both Lee and Rodent* ... I'll make sure that Samehada receives a nice and delicious snack.
Rodent: *goes between the two shinobi to shield Lee, something that made Kisame quickly frown from this action* Wait wait wait, hold it! Can we, like, not cause damage in the Sporking Room, please? I just got this cleaned up and prepared! I know you like to fight, but can you have a temporary truce while we are in here, please? It can only be temporary and I promise to return the both of you to your universe! Once I return you guys to where you came from, you can resume being your usual bloodthirsy self, I swear it!
Kisame: *is at first disappointed, but eventually puts his blade down to the side of the couch with his grin becoming more polite this time* As you wish, dear hostess. *carefully sits down on the couch as the tuxedo cat watches this and jumps off of the couch*
Rock Lee: *peeks over to Rodent with a sense of relief washing over him* Oh thank you, Miss Hostess! *goes down on one knee with hands together and head down* I am forever in your debt!
Rodent: *blushes and stammers* Ah-well-I-uhh-- It's nothing, Lee. Really! *clears throat* Couch is right over there. *Rock Lee looks up with confusion before quickly standing up and then moving to sit on the other end of the couch, not wanting to sit next to Kisame. The middle of the couch is left empty, to which Rodent walked over to it and sits down between the two shinobi* Anyway, here are some tea and sandwiches in case either one of you are hungry. I would have provided some booze as well, but we have Mr. "Drunken Fist" here and I don't want to be punched in the nose by someone who does taijutsu. And it's a shame too, because the story that we have here is bad- nay, awful beyond words.
Kisame: *picks up his own cup of tea and takes a sip* Oh, dear. Is it truly awful? Pray tell, dear hostess, please entertain us.
Rock Lee: *holds his cup as he looks at Rodent curiously* What kind of story is it to warrant this reaction? I don't have a good feeling about it.
Rodent: Oh, trust me, fellas. It is what I say it is. But before we dive head-first into this- not literally, Lee *looks over at Rock Lee, who immediately sits straight up in attention as Kisame rolls his eyes*- I shall set the stage with today's topic. And that topic is Sesame Street. *notices the puzzled expressions from both Rock Lee and Kisame* ... I know the readers know what I am talking about, but for the sake of my guests here, here's the long story short.
Sesame Street is an American children's program created by the excellent Jim Henson and his workshop with the purpose being to provide entertainment and education for young children since 1969 and, after 47 years, it's still kickin'. And with good reason, too! It has a collection of catchy songs, memorable characters, well-written sketches and scenes, and so on and so forth. It also tackles some controversial topics and explains them to kids at their level- they keep it understandable to them, but they don't sugarcoat it too much. So as there is a whole lot of episodes, there is the Muppet Wikia for reference. Now, like every kid in the States, I grew up with Sesame Street, having seen episodes and specials including a little gem called "Big Bird in Japan", read some books like The Monster at the End of This Book, and played my fair share of toys.
Kisame: *chuckles* Well, that is just precious.
Rodent: *brings her attention over to Kisame and sarcastically chuckles* Ha, ha, ha. Anyway, as I was saying, I got a chance in 2014 to finally see Grover, Cookie Monster, and (now retired) Murray at Nerd HQ in San Diego. It's like a Comic Con, but more intimate. Think of it as a gathering, yeah? *Both shinobi nod with this understanding* As I grew up with the first two, it was not like meeting someone famous. Instead, it was like reuniting with old friends from childhood. It was worth the trip to San Diego. Now then, with this out of the way, this is very relevant to today's sporking.
Rock Lee: *takes a sip of his tea* The awful story?
Rodent: *snaps fingers* Correct, and it's called Elmo Ruins Sesame Street by Odiethedog on FF.net. The good news: It's very short, clocking in at 284 words. The bad news: It's painful. The only way to prevent myself from going insane is to call upon those that can handle pain- *points fingers at both Rock Lee and Kisame* hence these two. *sighs* So, what do you say, guys? Ready to take a trip into a really awful fic with some awful stuff?
Rock Lee: Certainly, Miss Hostess! *puts down his cup and does his
nice guy pose with a thumbs up and a grin* You can count on me and Mister Akatsuki Member!
Kisame: *sighs disapprovingly as he puts his cup of tea down* I have a name, boy- it is Kisame Hoshigaki. *looks to Rodent* And I enjoy a good challenge, dear hostess.
Rodent: Just what I wanted to hear. Let us begin the sporking of Elmo Ruins Sesame Street by Odiethedog. One look at the title and the summary and already I'm getting a bad vibe from this. The summary says "I wrote this not Gerald"- don't know who this Gerald is- "so don't just start bashing me. Elmo is so annoying."
Rock Lee: Well, you did post this story under your fake name, so maybe you did write it.
Kisame: This person thinks that spilling out the truth will give them a lesser punishment. I will give them credit for their honesty, but that is the extent of my generosity.
Rodent: Uh, Kisame? I highly recommend not making death threats to the author. Rules from upstairs. *points up, to which Rock Lee looks up as if it's literal*
Kisame: I will keep my word, dear hostess, and follow these rules. *sits against his seat with a sandwich*
Rodent: Thank you. Also, see "Elmo is so annoying" in the summary? It's going to be important later. So we start with the following sentence:
One day, Elmo was walking down Sesame Street when he ran into Big Bird.
Rock Lee: Hey, that's not so bad. I mean, it's just this Elmo walking down the street, right?
Kisame: *takes a bite out of his sandwich* It is a false sense of security, Lee. By appearance, it is harmless. But in reality, it is nothing more than a dip into toxic waters. You never know what will happen until it's too late.
Rodent: Kisame's right because the following sentences prove it:
"Hey, Big Bird!"
"Hey, Elmo!" Suddenly [Big Bird] got lots and lots of unneeded feathers and he now sported a teddy bear named Radar. "Well, thanks a lot, 'Emo!'"
And it's all downhill from here. Now then, let's start with Big Bird and why this is OOC for him.
Kisame: You mean to say that he doesn't act very hostile?
Rodent: Nope. First and foremost, Big Bird is one of my favorite characters next to Grover and Cookie Monster. He has this childlike innocence that allows him to be identifiable with the audience. He's more of a gentle soul than anything. Want to know who understands this more? Carrol Spinney, who voices him since the show's creation. This man, bless his soul, knows how Big Bird ticks- not just mentally, but also emotionally- and has a deep connection to him. He doesn't see Big Bird as any character, but pretty much his child. Heck, he has had an understudy since 1998 but still performs the giant bird and is not going to willingly walk away from Big Bird or Oscar the Grouch, another character he's performed since the show started. Why do I bring this up? It's because if Carrol Spinney was reading this, then he would immediately disapprove of his child's portrayal.
Rock Lee: *with tears coming down his face* Such dedication this man has for Mister Big Bird! This dedication is for the most youthful and pure-hearted people that ever live! *impulsively hugs Rodent tightly* This love and dedication must be shared to everyone!
Rodent: Lee, Lee, please let go... *is being squeezed hard* Ribs hurting!
Rock Lee: Eh? Oh! Sorry about that, Miss Hostess. *lets Rodent go* I couldn't help myself.
Kisame: Like teacher, like student. How amusing to know. *chuckles as he finishes up his sandwich*
Rodent: *gives Rock Lee a handkerchief, who accepts it* Anyway, I say this because, canonically, Elmo is one of Big Bird's friends. So the latter would not purposefully mispronounce any of his friends' names. The only name that Big Bird got wrong is Mr. Hooper, but not maliciously because he's, according to Sesame Workshop, six years old. Speaking of which, that brings me to the next bit: his teddy bear Radar. Now I tried to pinpoint as to when Radar first appeared on the show. However, one thing that is canon is that Big Bird is very attached to Radar and treats him as if he's real. Heck, if Elmo gave him Radar, then Big Bird would be over the moon and back over receiving a new friend! Any six-year-old would happy about getting a stuffed animal and then interact with it as if they are alive. On that note, did either of you possess a stuffed animal at the age of six?
Kisame: *sips his tea as he rests against his seat* Of course. I had a stuffed shark toy that I saw as my friend growing up. He was the greatest friend in the world. *smiles fondly*
Rock Lee: I think I did? I'll have to check later.
Rodent: Point is, Big Bird would not react this way. As for the feathers? 1. Big Bird canonically has a total of 5,961 feathers; 2. His design changed to be more appealing to kids; 3. He's a bird. Let's move on.
Kisame: I believe it is my turn to go next. Now then, after the change in appearance done to Big Bird by this Elmo's presence, this happens:
Elmo was confused but kept going. He walked into Hooper's Store. That's when he saw Bert and Ernie in the lavatories, scrubbing the toilets.
Hmm... dear hostess, please provide information to us about these two.
Rodent: I got this. Basically, Bert and Ernie are polar opposite roommates with different personalities. Bert's the mature one with a fondness for pigeons and paper clips, Ernie's the playful one that has a rubber duck. I think they'll get a kick out of you, especially Ernie.
Kisame: I'll see if I can convince Itachi to accompany me to Sesame Street, then.
Rodent: Sweet. Now, here's my question regarding what's going on: why are Bert and Ernie working at Hooper's Store? Where's Alan? Where are the employees? Don't get me wrong, more power to them if they wanted to volunteer at Hooper's to help out, but why would they be cleaning TOILETS??
Rock Lee: Maybe they were asked to?
Rodent: Ha! If only we were that lucky, Lee. But nope, we get this:
"Hi, Bert! Hi, Ernie! Why are you working at Hooper's?"
"Thanks to you, Elmo, we lost the spotlight, so we homosexuals had to find a new job," said Bert.
*groans in annoyance* Okay, I have issues with the statement that Bert gives here. One of them being that Bert and Ernie never had a firm grip on the spotlight in the first place on the show. Sure, they have their fair share of sketches and songs, but they were not fully breakout characters. Even if they were in the spotlight, they shared it with the other characters. In fact, the first one to be a breakout hit was Big Bird, yet the blame for this one is on Elmo.
Kisame: You mentioned "issues", dear hostess. Are there more?
Rodent: There's another- Bert mentioned "homosexuals". There is a reference to this assumption that Bert and Ernie are not just roommates, but in fact lovers.
Rock Lee: Are they?
Rodent: Nope, and here's why. Sesame Workshop addressed this and explained that they're neither gay or straight because they're Muppets. Even if they were, conservative parents and soccer moms would throw a hissy fit up the wazoo over it. Just because they are two guys that are always together or even living together doesn't mean that they're gay. Take Kisame, for example. *Kisame leans in as if interested as Rock Lee looks up curiously* He and Itachi are polar opposites and travel together, even doing stuff together. Does that mean that they're also lovers? …Okay, I am not 100% sure if they even have a set orientation, but even if they were, then should you be concerned about it?
Kisame: I have good relations with Itachi, but you bring a valid point, dear hostess.
Rodent: Thank you. And just to clarify something as well, I am in full support of any headcanons that anyone has regarding Bert and Ernie- whether you see them as just friends or not. That, and I am not straight myself- I'm pansexual and in support of others of other sexualities.
Rock Lee: And you have my support as well, everyone!
Rodent: Moving on, where… *brings hands together and inhales* Full disclaimer now- this is where things get worse now. See that "K+" rating above? Keep it in mind with what you're about to read. Okay, here we go:
Telly Monster was watching TV while his eyes were swirling and he had antennas stuck on his head.
As soon as he saw Elmo he lost his antennas and turned into a normal monster with a pogo stick. '
"Bwaaaaaaaaaa!" screamed Telly. "You ruined my life when you came along!" He gave Elmo the middle finger
*Both Kisame and Rock Lee are shocked by what they're reading while Rodent is obviously irritated*
Rock Lee: That was not a nice reaction from this Telly!
Kisame: I would have been amused with the antennas just falling off like dead skin or this pogo stick appearing out of nowhere. But the last bit just killed any shred of amusement I could have had here.
Rodent: I did warn ya! But why, you may ask, is this worse? Because it added a new ingredient into the mix of what we have seen so far: lack of correlation.
Telly did, in fact, have antennas and swirly eyes when he watched TV- heck, his original schtick was that he was "Television Monster"- but that appeared only once. As in, his first appearance on the show. The main reason why his appearance was changed? It was because the people working on the show feared that it would be a bad influence on kids.
Rock Lee: So what's the reason for Telly to blame Mister Elmo, then?
Rodent: There IS none. *huffs* Oh, and Telly flipping off Elmo doesn't help, either. This fic, I must remind you guys, is rated "K+". How did no one catch this and say "Hey, author? Uh, can you please remove this"! If the show did feature a character giving the bird in reality, then it would receive a LOT of controversy from parents and moral guardians! At one point in the show's history, Sesame Street caught flak for using the word "jail" when coming up a word for the letter "J", so they would not sink this low and offend anyone. And one more thing- Telly's the age of a kid doing this. I don't care that he saw it on TV once, he just should not be doing this at all! *groans* Aah! *inhales, then exhales*
Kisame: *is shocked by this* My, my. Now I see why this story is awful, dear hostess.
Rodent: *rubs face* And trust me, it gets even worse:
as Elmo walked over to Mr. Snuffleupagus who was tapdancing.
That was from one episode where Snuffy wanted to tap dance, but every time that he did, he would cause earthquakes. That's not his main schtick.
Rock Lee: *raises hand with the sandwich in his hand* Uhh, Miss Hostess? Who's Snuffy?
Rodent: *types up "Snuffleupagus" on the magic keyboard and a photo of Mr. Snuffleupagus appears for the guest sporkers*
Kisame: Seems like a friendly fellow.
Rock Lee: *smiles eagerly as he eats his sandwich* I want to meet this Snuffy and pet his fur now!
Rodent: He's Big Bird's friend, so I think he would be looking forward to meeting you too, Lee. So, what does this fic do to him? This:
Snuffy shouted in pain as all his fur fell out and revealed a regular gray elephant underneath. "NOOOO!" he said as the Beautiful Day Monster ate his tap shoes, then disappeared, never to be seen again because of HIM.
*All three are left speechless from this before Kisame and Rock Lee look over at Rodent, who is slowly seething with a growing anger*
Rodent: *clenches fists* Okay, I have HAD it with this author. I've been annoyed and irritated, but so far I have been holding myself back. Well, I am done with playing nice to them and now I must ask this: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Rock Lee: *gasps as he covers his mouth in shock over the profanity*
Rodent: *notices this and looks over at him* I'm really sorry, Lee. I'll give you a heads up on when I will swear again. Okay?
Rock Lee: *nods as he lowers his hands* Yes, Miss Hostess.
Rodent: Okay. *returns her attention* You know what I mean, right? Nothing about this is funny or charming, even as black comedy! This is because Snuffy is NOT an elephant underneath all that fur but rather the species Snuffleupagus- heck, he doesn't like being called an elephant! Not only that, but this is downright cruel by having him lose his fur! He lives in a cave, which the fur is important to him for survival! I wish I could say that this is not doing the research, but I see this as more ignoring the research presented in front of the author. It's not just awful, it's downright repulsive!
Kisame: *lowly grunts in disgust* I will have to agree with you, dear hostess. My sense of humor may be sick and twisted, but even the darkest of black comedies involve an understanding of human misery and pain. With this Snuffy's sudden loss of fur to reveal that he is an elephant, however, there is no understanding here. His agony is played up as a calamity to pin the blame on the author's objection of resentment somehow. The only reason for Mr. Snuffleupagus's own suffering to happen so that the story can say that it's another's fault. In this case, the blame is on Elmo. A rule of thumb to future writers: If you intend to dabble in black comedy, execute it correctly or else you will alienate your audience.
*Rodent applauds with a nod of her head in agreement as Rock Lee watches with surprise*
Rock Lee: I did not know you are this elegant with words, Mister Hoshigaki!
Kisame: *sips his tea before leaning in to Rock Lee with Rodent slightly squished due to being between the two shinobi* Oh, trust me, boy. There are many things you don't know about me. *slowly grins, revealing sharp teeth to Lee, which creeps the younger shinobi out as Lee gulps and sits back in his seat. That's when Kisame notices something* Hmm? *brings his attention to see Rodent gasping for air before sitting back* Dear hostess, I must apologize.
Rodent: *covers mouth and coughs a bit* So that's twice I've had my ribs crushed. Note to self, never get squished between two shinobi. Correction: two strong shinobi that can easily make my spine snap like a toothpick.
Rock Lee: Well, I won't do that!
Kisame: *takes a bite of another sandwich* You have been a gracious hostess to us, so I will do no such thing, either. Anyway, I noticed mention of this "Beautiful Day Monster". Care to elaborate?
Rodent: *clears throat* Gladly. *pulls up a photo of the Beautiful Day Monster for the guest sporkers* This is what's called the "Beautiful Day Monster" because he appeared in a sketch where he brings mayhem and destruction. He has appeared in not just Sesame Street, but also The Muppet Show, The Ed Sullivan Show, and other Muppet-related stuff. This is a problem, however, as the Beautiful Day Monster's last appearance on Sesame Street was on Episode 0119 on April 23, 1970. Snuffy debuted in Episode 0276 on November 8, 1971- more than a year later. None of this makes any f-- *stops herself when she remembered that Rock Lee is in the Sporking Room*- sense. No sense whatsoever!
Rock Lee: Hey, there's more! I wonder what this says:
Later, Elmo made Don Music lose his music career, cause d the Teeny Little Super Guy shrink even more until he went "POP!" He also made Bob and quite a few other well-known humans dissipate into oblivion.
… *looks over at Rodent, who is obviously irritated by this*
Rodent: *groans* It feels like the story is bouncing back and forth between deciding to acknowledge obscure characters and not even trying to do the research. Here's the rundown on Don Music and Teeny Little Super Guy's fates:
-Don Music was abandoned because kids were imitating his technique for self-punishment (head-banging on the piano) at home.
-Teeny Little Super Guy only appeared in 13 segments total that reran until 2001 and made a cameo in Episode 4196 on November 24, 2009. But he was never again featured on the show.
Now then, what do these two have in common? NEITHER ONE EVER INTERACTED WITH ELMO, NOR WERE THEY REMOVED BECAUSE OF HIM. Also regarding Bob, the music teacher, he's still a regular, but still with limited appearances! And who were other well-known humans, story?! Tell us! We can't read your mind!! *pants*
Kisame: *presses a hand on Rodent's forehead before slowly removing his hand* Hmm… It seems that this story is really draining you of your chakra. Now I see why you summoned us to join you to see this story. *rubs Rodent's back*
Rock Lee: *pats Rodent's shoulder* Miss Hostess, do you want to take a break?
Rodent: *inhales, then exhales* We're at the home stretch. Let's wrap this up!
Soon Elmo was the only one left, and as he turned a corner, he got killed in a drive-by shooting. His last words before falling into hell and into a boiling pot Satan had prepared?
Damn annoying monster.
*seethes* I despise this ending. A. Lot.
Kisame: Oh, I don't blame you, dear hostess. Any story of this caliber can cause misery for others.
Rock Lee: At least it's over, right?
Rodent: Not yet, Lee. There's one more thing I need to talk about, something that I've saved for last- it involves the "Elmo is so annoying" part of the fic's summary. I wanted to go in depth about it. Now then, time to cover the main thing that the story is focused on: Elmo, which is whom the author decided to target.
Now personally, I am not the biggest fan of Elmo, but I have a soft spot for him. He's by far one of the nicest and sweetest characters on the show who never fails to go for hugs to and from others. He's also the unofficial mascot to Sesame Street and very popular with kids, especially the youngest of children. Here's the thing, though: He didn't start off that way. He was once just part of the background as an adult-monster with a couple of voices. However, in 1985, he was retooled into who he is now and became a breakout hit. The person responsible for this? His previous performer, Kevin Clash.
And before I go any further, I would like to say to anyone planning to comment: Do not mention the allegations in the comment section. I want to keep Clash's personal life out of this because it is not the main focus. What I want to bring up instead is his career and how he's an important part of Muppet history. When he was given the Elmo puppet, or in this case literally tossed over to him, by Richard Hunt, Clash gave that puppet life. And in turn, Elmo made him a crucial element in the show. He wasn't just a Muppeteer, but also a co-writer/producer, the show's Muppet Captain, co-ordinator of international outreach programs, and a mentor to help train new Muppeteers.
One more thing you should know as well. With Clash's retooling, Elmo became a monster forever at the age of 3 1/2 years. Basically, he's a child.
Why is all of what I said relevant?
When you apply all of this into context of the story, this fanfic becomes far too cruel and unnecessarily mean-spirited than you realize it. In other words, this story right here is attacking a young child who's in the age bracket of a preschooler.
Kisame: *bares teeth with a growl* That is low even by my standards.
Rock Lee: *is horrified by this* This story is just as awful as you mentioned it, but attacking defenseless kids is not acceptable! Why would anyone want to attack kids?!
Rodent: *rubs face with a groan* Unfortunately, while kids adore Elmo, older fans loathe him and sometimes blame him for any changes made to the show. This fic highlights the loathing, but it's not well-thought out or executed. I can easily write this off as a trollfic, but the author makes this played off as something to take seriously. I could easily write this off as some pointless rambling, but it slides into a feeling of smug righteousness. What about this being a revenge fic? That's the problem.
Look, it is possible to make a good hate fic or a revenge fic regarding your least favorite character or show- Spitefics made here, including a couple of my own creation, and the "Day of the Barney" trilogy by Brian Bull are prime examples of hate fics done right. But the reason why they work is because they present a different angle to the work and ask the question "What if" to it.
Not this fic.
Not only does this have little plot beyond what the title says and slide into blatant author's personal fantasy by the end, but it has very little purpose to exist. I'd dare say that "A Crazy Furry Hell" has more plot than this and that's a Sesame Street/Twilight crossover! It's rated "K+", but its content is too inappropriate; it's in the Humor/Parody genre, but it's too cruel and void of humor to be considered a parody, even ironically; and it makes Elmo the scapegoat for reasons that the author doesn't care to look into before writing this while also making other characters suffer as well.
When I sporked the Phantom/Christine ship fic "Tale of Abuse and love", I went easy on the author. Hard to believe I know, but the reason why is because that fic was that author's first one and they recently joined FF.net when they made the fic. I gave them the benefit of the doubt that they'll improve over time.
I will not do the same for this author.
Odiethedog currently has 33 stories since 2013 and "Elmo Ruins Sesame Street" is their 4th story. This is also the only Sesame Street content that they've made as they have made tasteless "parodies" of Calliou, Dora the Explorer, Arthur, and Garfield- including a one-shot in the Humor/Parody genre where Garfield is gruesomely crushed to death by a falling anvil and another one that's way too disgusting in which Calliou discovers porn on the Internet. And the majority of the reviews are in full support by this.
*Kisame is infuriated by this while Rock Lee is disgusted*
Rodent: Long story short, this fic SUCKS. *sighs* Guys, what are your opinions?
Kisame: *looks over at Rock Lee* Youth before age.
Rock Lee: *stands up from his seat and inhales a bit* I have never felt so much shock and disgust in my life while reading all of this. Knowing that this is supposed to be a parody, but not once did I laugh. Laughter is good for youth and the heart! So when there is no laughter coming out, then there is something wrong. And the reason why is the unwarranted hatred towards Mister Elmo, the kind-hearted youthful child monster! This is not just awful, but it is cruel and exhausting to read! How can something so small cause pain and suffering? I would rather spend my youth becoming stronger than read this or any more of this person's stories! *sits down with a winded sigh*
Rodent: You gonna be alright?
Rock Lee: *looks over at Rodent and nods* Yes, Miss Hostess. I will be fine.
Kisame: Hmm. You might be onto something, Lee… and I'll bite and agree with what you say, mentions of youth notwithstanding. I'd rather stay far away from this story, and if it is removed from memory, then no tears will be shed.
Rodent: Wise words. *crumples up the fic and throws it into the fire* Well, that's the end of that. And now that it's over and done with, I'm returning you two back to your universe as promised. *stands up*
Kisame: Actually… *smiles as he sips his tea* I don't mind spending a little bit more time in here, dear hostess.
Rock Lee: *nods* I agree! We've witnessed something negative, so how about something positive, Miss Hostess?
Rodent: *is surprised, but smiles before sitting down again* Got any suggestions?
Rock Lee: How about this "Big Bird in Japan"?
Kisame: You mentioned it as a "little gem". Care to show us?
Rodent: Boy, do I! *types up "Big Bird in Japan" and starts it up as Rock Lee and Kisame watch with anticipation and the tuxedo cat jumps up onto her lap and lays there*